CHASTISED

How horribly lonely
is this space.
behind these terrible
blood smeared gates
self containing
self impaling
waiting
hating
craving
a look
inside
forsaken
awaken
and
feel my shame
my pain
help extinguish
the anguish
that burns synapses
reeks of rotting
corpses
is it stupid to think
that anyone would
ever want to understand
what it is like
to sit on the brink,
whereI am
lost much less what I feel.
self loathing
i am evil
sans clothing
i do not dserve
understanding.
i did not understand
while i was cutting
a broad swath through life.
who are you that
you think anyone
could ever love you
no!
be watched
be scolded,
Chided,
scorned
derided
feel the wrath
of the self-righteous.
never know
nor ever care
what i feel.
feel
More sorrow
burdened hounded
be killed
resurrected
life reflected
until the final horns
have sounded.
a man of sorrows.
you are in the place
you were born to
this is your lot
in life
this is why you are here
you will never feel
Her soft kiss again
never trace Her outline
in the darkness
never feel Her love,
you are worthless.
you are judged
you are
chastised